Dilema with DD and rides


#1

Our DD5 is a bit of a scaredy cat. She goes crazy whenever she sees a bug, (I mean like someone just cut off her leg!!!). Anyways our dilema comes to a head when it comes to Disney. She LOVES the teacups and the Merry-go-Round (but she won’t ride a horse, she needs to sit). She refuses to go on all other rides. We have just started forcing her, which I am very well aware of the way it sounds but it is not so bad. During our last trip she cried all the way through the Nemo and Friends ride, she was so scared. We forced her to ride it and she actually loved it, but is now giving us a hard time about going on it again! She is too much.

She has gone on Pirates every trip (this will be her 4th) and every trip refuses to go. We are wondering if anyone else has these types of issues? We know she will like the rides if only she gives them a chance,we don’t want to force her, but we also don’t know of any other way to expose her. We have offered for her to earn a pin for every really big ride she gives a shot (we must be crazy, this could end up costing a fortune), we have offered to take her and her sister back to BBB if she tackles specific rides, NOTHING!!!

What would you do? Keep in mind, we are not talking roller roasters here, we are having the hardest time with the Magic Carpets and Dumbo!!!


#2

I am having a similar issue with my 9 year old DS! He has ridden every ride (except ToT) and now refuses to go on any rides at all, except Soarin’ and a few others. In fact, he has already told me that he won’t be going to any parks on our next trip, and wants to stay at our resort the entire trip (Stormalong Bay) with DH.

I’m floored, but I have noticed this building over the last few trips. He rides motorcycles, and target shoots, so he is no wimpy 9 year old! My 14 year old offerred him $50 to go on RnR, which he has ridden twice before. He turned that down!

So Shannon, you are not alone! I wish I knew some good advice, but obviously I need some advice too.


#3

I have the exact same issue with my DS4. His sister who is 6 is a complete daredevil and will ride anything she’s tall enough for. It is kind of challenging since they are interested in completely different rides.

I can’t say I really have any tips but I completely understand where you are coming from. We also ‘forced’ DS4 to ride many rides because it was just getting too time consuming to keep separating especially if both my DH and I wanted to ride. We would just get in line and not really say anything. :laugh: Some rides he ended up liking, some he didn’t but I think in the end he realized it was nothing that bad. Like you said, we weren’t forcing him on ToT or anything! He fought with us about Pirates, but now he says he can’t wait for that one. He fought with us about Splash Mountain which he liked except for the hills. He did not want to go in the Haunted Mansion but I tried to point out funny things like the portrait of the guy in his underwear. He said he didn’t like it when we got off, but didn’t look upset while we were on the ride.

It’s so frustrating, because it’s so hard to overcome and figure out what is going on in their heads!


#4

I am a believer in making the kids go on the rides- or forcing them as you said. My kids have never been scared to go on rides, but we have gone with friends who had kids that were TERRIFIED! I would say about 99% of the time we made them go on the ride, they liked it in the end and wanted to go again. Also, bribery works well- ice cream, gummies, a special treat.


#5

Our first trip to WDW our DS did not want to do many of the rides, so we did the ones he was comfortable with. Each time we have gone he has done more and more rides. He now has done almost every ride at WDW. The only ride he was forced to go on was It’s A Small World and my DW had to force me onto that one also…LOL…I felt as my DS was growing up things would come in time and they did. I never forced him to do things that he was not comfortable with. That makes things unpleastant for us and others that are trying to enjoy a ride or what ever the situation is. I hate being on a ride that kids are screaming on because they don’t want to do it. I love being on a ride kids are screaming on because they WANT to do it.


#6

It sounds to me like you’re doing everything you can. I was the same way and I totally remember that terrified feeling before EVERY ride. It was awful. But I also remember my parents forcing me on or bribing me with a souvenir (this is how I got 2 princesses dresses in 1 trip! :smile:). Now I am glad they made me ride. I can’t remember a single ride I was disappointed about riding. There were a few I didn’t like, but nothing so bad it ruined my day. I say make her ride any rides you think she would like and hopefully she’ll get over her fear.


#7

Why not watch videos of the rides posted on youtube. That way she can see what to expect on the ride and hopefully will see that it’s not as bad as she thinks it will be.


#8

I agree with you 100%.
DD11 truely is phobic so we don’t even go there with suggestive pushing. DD9 is not but “acts” out about riding. We don’t force her as all that does is teach her to draw attention by throwing fits and we NEVER try to bribe her from acting that way. If she doesn’t want to do it, fine. She misses out then. That may cause us to miss out on a few things too, but that’s ok because it’s not only our vacate. If they’d rather do other things besides all the rides then that’s how they’re chosing to make their memories.
Reminds me of my youth when mom always drug us to the mountains because that’s where she wanted to go yet I would have rather been at the beach. Oh, I enjoyed myself while there, but those were her memories, not mine and had I been given a choice I would’ve chosen differently.


#9

I was also a ride scaredy cat once upon a time. On my first trip, I wouldn’t even ride the TTA (Peoplemover at the time) when my dad told me we would be able to SEE inside Space Mountain on it. I only wanted to ride Small World, Peter Pan, Teacups and Imagination at Epcot.

It was really frustrating for my parents. They never forced me to go on anything specific but they gave me a choice between two rides I was reluctant about. That helped because it gave me some control over what I wanted to do and my choices sometimes even surprised them. They really wanted us to ride Big Thunder together but I refused so finally they told me that I had to choose between Big Thunder and the Haunted Mansion knowing I was easily spooked and would most likely not choose HM. But my five year old mind decided that Mickey Mouse wouldn’t actually want to scare anyone and opted for Haunted Mansion. I didn’t end up riding Big Thunder on that trip! LOL


#10

Okay- I am a pretty no-nonsense parent.

Honestly… it sounds like there’s a big payoff for her in both attention and merchandise if she’s scared.

I wouldn’t let this control the vacation.

I think the idea of watching the ride videos is a good one.

If she’s honestly, truly scared, you just do what she’ll do, baby swap the rest… and make it really, really boring for her to wait. No ice cream, no doing something else while others ride. (And hey… if you baby swap, older sister gets to ride twice!)

And if you think it’s just some anxiety that she can get past, you tell her you’re going, you don’t talk about it any more, you’re not going to listen to the drama. And that if she’s going to disrupt the experience for others around, there will be consequences for that behavior.

She’s old enough for the kid’s club if you need some drama-free ride time.

Parenting is just often no fun.


#11

[QUOTE=Andrea;988014]Okay- I am a pretty no-nonsense parent.

Honestly… it sounds like there’s a big payoff for her in both attention and merchandise if she’s scared.

I wouldn’t let this control the vacation.

I think the idea of watching the ride videos is a good one.

If she’s honestly, truly scared, you just do what she’ll do, baby swap the rest… and make it really, really boring for her to wait. No ice cream, no doing something else while others ride. (And hey… if you baby swap, older sister gets to ride twice!)

And if you think it’s just some anxiety that she can get past, you tell her you’re going, you don’t talk about it any more, you’re not going to listen to the drama. And that if she’s going to disrupt the experience for others around, there will be consequences for that behavior.

She’s old enough for the kid’s club if you need some drama-free ride time.

Parenting is just often no fun.[/QUOTE]

I was right there with you, until I got to the part I highlighted. So you’re saying if someone truly has a psychological fear from something you’d punish them because of that. That doesn’t seem very fair to that child either. I understand not giving the rewards of ice cream but to have to sit there watching others have fun all day and not be allowed to do whatever’s comfortable to them just because they can’t do what they’re siblings and parents can isn’t right either. imo. In a situation of a child like this if the family has to split for part of the day to accomodate then so be it. Like you said, Parenting is just often no fun.


#12

My kids are 19 and 22 now…I never forced them to ride anything they didn’t feel comfortable with. It was really a non-issue. If they didn’t want to ride, we didn’t ride…no drama, no issues, no big deal at all. A few times my DS and I (DD had NO interest and stayed behind with Grandma!) got all the way to the elevator in ToT, and he backed out…I could see he was visibly frightened, even tho he had ridden it earlier that day. I just gave him a hug, and found the exit. The following year, he could hardly wait to hit ToT…and he has ridden it every year since. My advice - take it for what it’s worth - is just make it a non-issue. It’s not about punishing or forcing or cajoling…it’s a vacash!


#13

To me it sounds like Nokey Nose’s DD is not afraid, she’s just protesting for attention. If she has done the rides before, and enjoyed them, then I am not so sure she is really afraid. I think its just a matter of a learned and automatic response for her.

My oldest protests about EVERYTHING. " I don’t want to, I am not going, etc." I hear it all the time. I have learned to ignore it, not buy into to it, and let it go. Because nine times of ten, he does have a good time and enjoy himself. I swear he does it for attention, and out of habit.
The curious thing here, is, he never protests at Disney. He is willing to try everything. Go figure.


#14

Been there. Done that. My 4 year old is the same way at DW…she is scared of all rides (except small world & the peoplemover)…

Instead of forcing her…which may result in years of therapy…my husband and the older children(11 & 18) take turns staying out of the ride with her so everyone can enjoy…

Or she and I just stay on the peoplemover for an hour…LOL


#15

My best advice is child swap every attraction. You shouldn’t force her and no one else should miss anything either…most of your trip will be spent trying to talk her into this and talk her into that. Ignore it and do what you want and maybe the lack of attention to what she will or will not go on will make her want to be included.


#16

We thought this was a great idea as well, last trip! We don’t really do books at bedtime (we read at other times of the day), we gather around the laptop (at both of the girls urging) and watch YouTube video’s of Disney rides. They love it! Ashley’s favorite is always the Teacups!

Sorry, I don’t really know how to quote more than one persons post at a time in teh same thread, so I have to address them separately!


#17

I shoudl have clarified, she doesn’t actually scream or cry ON the ride, she just cries the whole time in the line and talks about the fact that she’s afraid! No screaming (only over bugs!) at all! In fact, she is usually seems relived and allright! (not sure if it’s due to the ride being over or the fact that she didn’t mind it!

I am not that insensitive to others around me, but after all Disney is full of kids, so there is bound to be some of this sort of thing going on anyways!


#18

I don’t really think she was saying that! This issue is not really a “psychological fear” that we are trying to punish her for! I just think she is saying that if my child refuses to try things with the family I should not reward her in doing things separately, she should have to wait for the rest of our family. I don’t think at my childrens ages (6,5, and 17 months) that we are on vacation to separate. They will be asking to do stuff on their own before we know it! These are actually times in which we work on doing things together. Another reason this is so important to us to get her more comfortable to ride some of the rides she is reluctant to.

Again, this is not TOT or even BTMR, we are talking Magic Carpets, Nemo and friends and Dumbo, we don’t even have to go up in the air!!! The fear is not really substantial, yes, most of it is acting out, which we DO NOT believe in catering to, but still this is an issue!!!


#19

Good point, I think that is (without really knowing it) why we just don’t cater to it, we just say too bad, we are going!!! We just really were hoping that this trip we could do something to coax her into less of an issue!

I am going to try to see if I can find the pictures of her before and after NEMO and Friends! You’ll see! Thanks lovemysons!


#20

[QUOTE=smartwoman0;988052]Been there. Done that. My 4 year old is the same way at DW…she is scared of all rides (except small world & the peoplemover)…

Instead of forcing her…which may result in years of therapy…my husband and the older children(11 & 18) take turns staying out of the ride with her so everyone can enjoy…

Or she and I just stay on the peoplemover for an hour…LOL[/QUOTE]

Sorry to say, but as parents I think we all do things that will result in many years of therapy! :laugh: