Disturbing trend part 2

#1

Ok I want to vent about something. I realize that Disney is for kids, and most of you guys seem like good people and good parents who would keep their children in hand, but I have to talk about the ones who don’t. Pete and I booked our honeymoon and planned our whole wedding for Sept. so all the kids would be in school. What I failed to take into account was all the pre-school ages who would be there. Staying at the Floridian, I thought I would be a little more free of kids. WRONG! 2 and 3 year olds screaming at the pool, splashing, and the most beastly of these children were in the room right next to us (as I may or may not have mentioned in a previous post some months ago).

For :mickey: sake, I don’t want to listen to other people’s little monsters when I’m on vacation too, DisneyWorld or not. When we were at breakfast, there was a table of several well behaved children with their parents, and I complimented them on being so good and well behaved just as we were walking out. But there were so many tantrums and fits, (especially through our paper-thin wall) it made me rethink my “immediate start on a family” for about 4 years or so.

So anyway, on my next trip, should the little vermin of these equally hideous parents overrun my vacation, do I reprimand them? Their parents? Both?

P.S. This thread is in resorts, but really, it should be in restaurants, theme parks, and anywhere else, since these brats get everywhere!

Thanks for the vent. Thanks for having sweet children.

#2

Sadly, you were victim of a fast-growing trend, people with children that don’t want the responsibilty of being parents and training their children the proper way to behave. You see this EVERYWHERE. It was just more “in your face” at WDW because of the concentration of children all around.

I usually try to ignore others misbehaving children, unless they are physically treading into my space. Then I gently ask them to please move, stop, back up or whatever. I usually say something like ‘Careful, that’s me you are stepping on’ or ’ that is my son’s ____’ Most of the time that gets the parents attention and they will rein the child in for a moment or two. Sometimes it doesn’t. Don’t let other peoples children be your guide on when to start a family. Just use it as a learning tool on how NOT to raise your children.

#3

Ok here is my input on this matter, being the mother a 2yo (3 next month)DD who is generally well behaved, but she like ALL kids has her :fork_off: moments, especially when she is late on her naps. Now combine that with heat of WDW and you can guess the outcome. As a mother/parent we hate this even more than those of you without children, but there is little to be done, you just have to let the tantrum run it’s course. If you were to come up to an already distraught child or parent you may cause more damage than you intend to. When DD is having a tantrum I am so close to tears that I hate to admit to it. If these are the children you are talking about please grumble to yourself, act like you will never child that will throw a tantrum, and go about your business.

On the other hand if you are talking about older children who are old enough to control themselves and their emotions that is something a parent of an older preschooler will have to tell you about.

#4

When im on vacation and there is a child misbehaving I usually don’t immediately think that it is a common occurence with that child since raising kids IS hard and you know, stuff happens! But if a parent is not doing anything to control their child, or is doing so in a very bad manner, I will say something but I will be very polite about it.

#5

I was very suprised to see how well behaved the kids were at WDW this last week, considering the heat, and rain, and crowds. I expected much much worse. The kids I saw, who seemed to be the worst were the one’s who’s parents were more consumed with poking that their cell phones, or PDA’s, than they were with WDW anyway. Their folks just let them run wild, while they checked their email, etc.

#6

Ok let me clarify. I’m not talking about a small child screaming (because of late days, exhaustion, etc) and a parent trying to calm them. I’m not talking about a child excited to be at Disney and running a bit wild.

I’m talking about when the parents ALLOW the child to behave badly to the discomfort of other people at the park. About children being permitted to be little monsters because their parents can’t be bothered to rein them in. It gets increasingly difficult to hold one’s tongue.

#7

We were there in May and don’t remember too many children out of control in the pools, restaurants or theme/water parks. I also read somewhere that Sept/Oct are big months for Europeans to vacation. On our trip in Oct of 1999, we ran into quite a few rude foriegners…not that they all are. I think no matter where you stay or when you go, you are still going to have the kids. It’s WDW.

#8

Yes, it is WDW, and I like kids very much, I just don’t understand why some parents are so inconsiderate of other guests as to ignore their children when they are behaving badly.

#9

Well EmpressJenny, I have 4 children. Ages 8, 6, 6 and 8 months. I like to think that they are well behaved but, as previously mentioned, they have their moments. I truely believe that once you have children you become more immune to tantrums and general bad behavior because you have experienced them yourselves. Don’t get me wrong, I do not agree with the bad behavior, I just mean that sometimes it is expected considering the heat and the crowds and how tired everyone is.

I have a big issue with parents that are constantly berating and yelling
at their children while at WDW. By all means keep them in line, Children need boundaries, but your on vacation so let them stretch them a little and everyone will have a better time.

#10

…As for the ‘rude foreigners’ remark…I think you’ve got things backwards. Living in France, and travelling in Europe, the groups that really stood out tended to be Americans (both adults and unruly kids)–they’d be the loud ones, blocking traffic, being rude…IMO, The American family started breaking down longer ago than in many other countries(materialism pushing money/jobs first, leading to the breakdown of the extended family, prioritization of salary-seeking over parenting time, etc), and it shows. Exporting our me-first capitalism is leading to similar changes all over the world, and these same problems are emerging all over the place. I think the days when you could count on a higher level of civility on a European vacation are numbered. I hope we all wise up as to what kind of price we ultimately pay to have the flashy car, the latest Nikes, the poolboy, the bling…And warn our imitators before it’s too late.

Not that everyone in America is a bad parent, but I think we’ve got more problems in that arena than in most similar countries.

(But can’t I keep the poolboy? :biggrin:)

#11

I agree that children need to ‘let their hair down’ so to speak, but I think she is talking about the ones that have parents that don’t want the hassle of teaching their children good manners and such. The bad thing is, I have a step-son that thinks that way. He has a 4yo son that is a horrible BRAT! My DH and I can only be around him in small doses. The thing is, when we have him by himself, he behaves and is respectful to us and others. It is only when his parents are around that he is a terror. He knows what is expected of him by us and responds accordingly. Lets face it, being a parent is hard and there have been times when it would have been easier for me to ignore my kids than be a parent to them.

#12

From what I could tell, being “rude” wasn’t mutually exclusive to any ethnic group, or income level. All groups appeared to be represented in force…lol.

#13

Hmmm…well… I sort of hestitate to respond to this. But, you certainly didn’t hold back, so…
You have every right to honeymoon at WDW or anywhere else you choose. People with children have the same right to vacation where they choose. Both you, and they, have the right to enjoy your vacation. Obnoxious children? WDW is full of them. We have all had to endure spoiled, ill-behaved children and their parents who seem oblivious of their behaviour. Shame on those parents. I have resisted the urge to strangle a few myself, and to tell their parents just what I think of them, but…I think what offends me, as a mother, is the use of words such as “vermin”, “brats” and “monsters”

Sorry to disillusion you Jenny - but with all the best intentions in the world, there are going to be days when your little darlings are going to turn into “vermin”. That well-behaved little angel that you praised at breakfast - the one with “good” parents who keep her “in hand”? Well, by the time three o’clock rolls around and she’s hot and tired, and cranky and rolling on the ground - does that immediately demote her to “vermin” status? No. Children are human beings, not toys for adults to enjoy on “adult” terms. For the most, they are not "brats, “monsters” or “vermin”. (Even the ill-behaved ones). They’ve just had the bad luck of having parents who don’t care. I’m sorry if I have offended you - but, I guess I needed to “vent” too.

#14

As a father I also agree with your sentiments. Remember the “Acorn doesn’t fall far from the tree.”

#15

I have to respectfullly disagree with parents who insist that all kids “have their moments.”

While my kids are far from perfect, if they are going to have a meltdown, DW and I will in NO WAY accept them ruining someone else’s day. Even when they were toddlers, we didn’t allow them to run around restaurants, nor did we allow them to throw food. I was disgusted the night we went to Ohana. There was a child, maybe 14-16 months who was allowed to drop nearly the entire dinner on the floor… crumb by crumb. It was disgusting. Meanwhile, the so-called parents chatted away as if it was part of growing up.

As parents, we are exected to teach children proper public behavior, and the learning should start at a young age. I hope I’m not ruffling a lot of feathers with this comment, but I’m sorry. So many people comment on how polite my kids are. I wouldn’t have it any other way and I wish other people set the same standard for their own kids.

I think Jenny has every right to complain. She and Pete should NOT expect to be constantly annoyed by other people’s kids. Funny thing is, MY kids get annoyed by other people’s kids.

BTW, my kids aren’t Stepford kids either. They can be difficult, but they only show that side to us, they’re never difficult in public.

#16

Oh… one more thing.

On MANY occasions, I’ve taken it upon myself to scold a child misbehaving, even right in front of the parents.

If they ain’t gonna do it, then I’ll do it happily.

#17

And after that comment, I am offically singing off this thread, this subject has just gotten rude to me and all other parents who are priviledged to have not so PERFECT children.

#18

I noticed a trend of misbehaving children everywhere…I don’t blame the kids. It actaully a trend of different or less diciplined parenting. In a world of “what about me?” some children forget others are even in their universe. That is parenting, not children. So before we get upset at little Johnny who is cursing and running like a maniac, let’s get ticked that his mother is making him that way.
I have had to try and control the choke-em urge many times at WDW and anywhere for that matter. Truth is, we (as parents) all have different ideas and techniques for parenting and there is alwasy going to be at least on critic of your paticular style. My best advice and one I try to practice (most of the time) is walk away…run if you must, but ignore other people’s children if they annoy you. I only loose my cool if the child is doing something to my DD or me. Other than that…they are not my problem…thankfully. I do remember lossing my cool to a mother who told her three kids to get in line in front of my DD…that was ridiculous and the Mom’s fault for her ignorance. If you are stuck in a room next to loud ones…adults even, simply call the front desk and ask to have a different room and explain why. I know the people who were staying next to me and my DD probally wanted to kill us at 12:30am when we were up laughing and having a blast like it was 8pm…sorry whoever that was. :whistling

#19

I agree with you on the terms used!!! I think as a mother I would never refer to anyone’s children as vermin!! I agree however, too on the behavior of some kids is awful but then I believe the PARENTS are the “vermin” or “monsters”!!

Children need expectations and they need to be upheld!!! My kids can have issues but they know what we expect of them and basically for the most part they do a good job!!! Parenting is very tough!!! When on vacation there are times I think we all kinda “lose it” a little because it is vacation!!!
Behavior is an all the time thing, however, unfortunately if you have children in a pool they are going to splash, I mean, that is what it is for right??
Now hanging from the chandeleir(sp?) would be very unacceptable!!

I am not trying to offend anyone either!!! It is just harder than you think if you do not have your own kids!! And Jenny I do not hold my tongue when I see a child out of hand!! I respectfully correct them or ask them to stop !! You should too!!! I hope your trip this September is better!!! and I truly hope this does not sour you on children!!! Mine are the light of my life!!! :wub: Even when they misbehave!!! :wink:

#20

I don’t think that anyone wanted to get into a debate about this subject. My point about my children, and most others, having their moments was not to say that we allow them to misbehave. At least I don’t. It only states that children get worn out quicker than adults do and allot of families try to do the whole day without a break. I also am concerned about parents just standing by and letting this happen. My children would never get away with dropping their food on the floor like you described. But I have seen it happen. I am sorry if Jenny is upset about children acting up. It isn’t always what it appears to be. My son happens to be ADHD and there are times that he gets overly stimulated and has a tantrum. I immediately work to calm him down and he does take medication but I imagine that if I didn’t know better and just happened to be there I would think that he was just being bad. I think the point is that as parents we try to raise our children to be well adjusted and to act accordingly when out in public, but sometimes there are circumstances that affect the norm.