Oh the Guilt


#1

Our youngest is 18 and my husband and I
want to plan a trip to WDW in 2011without any kiddos. I look forward to an adult trip but am having guilt about going without the kids. What’s wrong with me? My husband would have his bags packed within an hour, with no problem. Anybody else expierience this? How do you overcome it?


#2

I guess you should ask yourself, what kind of guilt is it? Are you feeling guilty because you will not take your kids or is it because you will enjoy yourself at Disney by having more money to spend on your trip than you did with extra family members? I guess I would be more like your husband on this one. Go, have fun, enjoy it. The kids will start making memories of their own now, so you shouldn’t feel guilty about doing the same.


#3

I’m going through just the opposite. Our trip is planned for Spring break, and I’m making my 18 year old, and 15 year old go. Both would rather stay home, but I want to go as a family. But, don’t feel guilty at all. Think of all the things you do for your kids. Treat yourself to something for you. So, go and enjoy!


#4

I can relate to your feelings here. I’d have a hard time going without my kids too. But if you look at it more as a “Couples Getaway” instead of a “Disney Vacation” that may help. The fact that you made a decision that your Couples Getaway is taking place at the Happiest Place on Earth is beside the point! As you plan, think “Marriage Builder” not “Family Vacation” and it might help sort out the feelings of guilt.

Then when you go, have a Magical time, take lots of pictures and share them here so the rest of us can follow your example!

Jennifer


#5

Is there something special you could arrange for the kids while you’re gone? Who knows, as much as they love you, THEY may enjoy some time without mom and dad being around. I pomise Chris, once you get there and find out how much fun you can have without the kiddos, you’ll forget all about the quilt. Start planning girl. :laugh:


#6

I am right with you. I want to celebrate my 40th BD next year in Disney with some friends, but I don’t think I can leave the boys behind. I would feel guilty. Maybe I can fly down early and then they can join me after a few days? that my help to ease my guilt.


#7

My DH and I are the same! our daughter is almost 21 and she would be real mad if she thought we were going without her. We would love to, but we couldnt stand the wrath afterwards! (she’s not that bad, its just she loves WDW so much she’d be heartbroken to miss a trip there)


#8

We did that in '07. I didn’t feel guilty but that was because we were going on a cruise. When I realized where our p.o.c was there was NO WAY I could be that close to WDW and not go. DH was hesitant at first out of guilt but I I told him he’d just have to suck it up since the cruise was a couple thing only.


#9

About 4 years ago my friend made the suggestion of me and her go on a “MOMS ONLY” trip. I said yes but the guilt was overwhelming for me. We went and at the begining of the trip I was miserable. by midway, I was doing better but missed my family and could not stand the fact that I was at WDW and they were not. That was my first EVER trip without my kids anywhere. I could not believe it, how I could actually think about having fun at a place my kids should be. Well, by the end of the trip I was just feeling ok,doing better but just ok. The next year came and she said,“hey, lets go to WDW again,just us moms”. I thought it over and decided to try this again,a bit reluctently,but I said yes. We went again and WOW, my world completly opened up. I did not have any guilt cause I knew that “I” needed that time away, even if it was at WDW. We have been going once a year ever since and LOVED it every trip. So, from expirience,I say go!!! You will end up really enjoying yourself.:heart::heart::wub::wub:


#10

Go and enjoy yourself, we did it in 2008 without the kids and we had a blast.


#11

We have done the adults a few times over the last 4 years. WHAT A BLAST!!! I cannot tell you how much fun it is to just walk the parks at your pace. I will always cherish any trips w/ the kids. But we parents need a break also. Remember to do AK EMH at night. Just stroll the park alone. It is so peacefull and the CM’s told us all sorts of neat stuff to see at night that you will not see when the sun is shining.

As the years have past trips have included those that could make it. Our last 2 trips w/ kids was for a HS grad present with the youngest and a freind and a F&W Fest with the oldest 2. Let me tell you that a trip without everyone is different. It was nice to spend 8 days at F&W with the oldest as they could partake. :ohmy: But the trip with the youngest was crazy. We spent the whole time watching them, sometimes doubling over as two 18 y/o girls spent the last chance they had to act like youngin’s. We were in hysterics the whole trip.

So, go, have fun, and enjoy your time together. You’ve earned it. And there will be other times for your 18 y/o to travel.


#12

I like the idea of the “Marriage Builder” mindset. We certainly do need an adult trip. I think part of my problem is that Shan will be off to college in the fall and I’m having separation anxiety and empty nest syndrome already. She’s the last one out! :laugh: Thanks all for the advice!


#13

Get over it!

You’ve done your share of riding what rides the kiddos wanted to, etc, etc. Plus, for the last few years AT LEAST, they didn’t want to be seen with you I’m guessing. “Meet you for dinner.” Am I right - can I get an AMEN parents of teenagers!?!?

There is a whole new WDW out there waiting for you. You don’t HAVE to wait in line for Peter Pan, unless you really want to!

Wait till you do a Disney cruise sans kiddos! :laugh:

The question is why not a 2010 trip? A long weekend for the 2 of you.


#14

One of the best trips we hav eever taken was without the kids – and they were maybe 1 and 2 at the time!!! Bliss!!!


#15

My parents have gone without my sister and I a number of times now. I can’t say that they ever felt bad about leaving us at home. Although the first time I remember them going with out me I was like 30 and my sister was married and had a baby. So I guess it was fine that I didn’t go and they didn’t feel bad. Although I have to say the Christmas after they went I got some of the best Disney Art ever from them. I don’t know if it was guilt shopping but either way it was so good that I cried when I opened it. Now I love when they go down with out me.

So I guess what I’m saying is go and have a great time and if you feel a bit bad just by the kids something really nice.


#16

I feel for you! My DH and I have had this struggle for the last few years. My kids are fairly young (13 and 6), so the guilt was really overwhelming. Last March, we took our youngest to WDW for his and my birthdays. My oldest had state tests at school and was also going to see her grandparents in West Palm for Easter. I’m not going to lie to you, we had fun, but I felt guilty the whole trip. (Of course the constant texting from her didn’t help - telling me how miserable she was. When it was her turn to be away without us, we barely heard from her, lol). At 18, I think I’d be able to do it. I say go for it and have fun!!


#17

If your planning a trip in 2011 your DD will be 20. Would she be paying her own way? If she isn’t and you feel really guilty offer her a trip with her friends and you pay her way then. She may like the idea of WDW trip without Mom & Dad or maybe she would enjoy going somewhere else with her friends. Either way you owe it to yourself to do a trip with out the kids. My DW and DS did WDW Dec 09 without me and I know she felt really guilty about me staying home with the dogs but I really enjoyed that time.


#18

I’m with you…it’s hard! My kids are young (10 and 4) so the guilt was crazy-high for me the first time my husband wanted to take a kids-free trip. But we do live only 2 hours away from Disney so that makes a big difference. My kids get to go at least 3 or 4 times a year for weekend trips, so it eases the guilt of going without them once in awhile. I agree with what others have said…those times to just get away and spend time with the hubster doing something fun without the kids, almost like we were dating again, were so great for our marriage! You’re in a different place than me since your youngest is about to go to college, but I still think having that “marriage building” time, as cheesy as that sounds, will be a great thing. :slight_smile:

Last year we decided to take the girls one-at-a-time and let them each have a special birthday trip, and that was hard on the guilt factor. I kept thinking about how the other one wasn’t there for all the fun and feeling sad about it at first…but it actually turned out to be a great thing because it’s rare that we get to spend time with our kids one-on-one like that. I’m glad I listen to DH sometimes. :slight_smile:


#19

[QUOTE=Tinker Mel;1015319]
Last year we decided to take the girls one-at-a-time and let them each have a special birthday trip, and that was hard on the guilt factor. I kept thinking about how the other one wasn’t there for all the fun and feeling sad about it at first…but it actually turned out to be a great thing because it’s rare that we get to spend time with our kids one-on-one like that. I’m glad I listen to DH sometimes. :)[/QUOTE]

My DD being 6 yrs older than her brother had several trips w/out her brother. We decided to take him and make it special for him to go w/out her. He had the time of his life. My DD got to go to Florida for Easter so she was happy. We’re also planning a special trip for her for her 16th bday (I have 3 years to figure this out) with some of her friends. I felt guilty leaving her but it all worked out. Now if only I could muster up the courage to go with just my DH…we haven’t been there without kids in quite a while, I think we’re due, lol.


#20

[QUOTE=rlcarmichael;1015291]Get over it!

You’ve done your share of riding what rides the kiddos wanted to, etc, etc. Plus, for the last few years AT LEAST, they didn’t want to be seen with you I’m guessing. “Meet you for dinner.” Am I right - can I get an AMEN parents of teenagers!?!?

There is a whole new WDW out there waiting for you. You don’t HAVE to wait in line for Peter Pan, unless you really want to!

Wait till you do a Disney cruise sans kiddos! :laugh:

The question is why not a 2010 trip? A long weekend for the 2 of you.[/QUOTE]

We’re taking my Mom this year and I want Shannon to go with us and Grandmom.