What should I do about this?

#1

We will be going to WDW in Sept only because I have high hopes that they will have free DDP and also for MNSSHP.
My DD Megan will have a bday in July and Madison will be 3 days before the trip.
So today Megan was in her room crying and having a meltdown. I asked her what was wrong she REFUSED to talk to me. It was so bad I had to call my DH at work to talk some sense into her… So finally she brokedown and told me its no fair Madison will get to celebrate her bday in Disney and not her. I explained to her why we are going in Sept and told her that we are doing her bday as well. I also tried to explain to her that we will die in Juy with the heat and I also told her that she can go somewhere local for her bday. Now let me tell u we ALWAYS have AWESOME bday parties for the kids. It never no less than$500 so Im kinda upset about this as per Madison will not a “real” party.
So Megan decides she isnt going to Disney because its “Stupid” and for “babies” after she was soooo excited for it all the other days…

I think this all started when Madison told me that “whoever” was having a boardwalk bday party and she wanted one. I told her that she will be going to Disney for hers and thats special so I think Megan heard that but I kinds slipped and said that so WHAT SHOULD I DO?

#2

If I can be blunt. I honestly think if you just let it go, it will pass. The more attention you give her, the more she will “demand” as a “compensation” for her not having her bday at WDW.

We have gone to WDW on 3 occasions in July during our sons Bday. Not for that reason, just happened to be when we could go. DD had no issue with it at all because as far as she could see, she was going to WDW!! She didnt care what was going on then, as long as she was at WDW because she loves it so much.

We have the habit of trying to make everything all right, and everyone happy, all the time. Life is just not like that. The sooner our children learn that the better.

#3

Honestly? You really need to tell you other DD to get over herself…seriously. Explain to her why you are going that month and tell her it just happens to fall near other DD’s birthday. If you always give them a great party and she is having a major meltdown over this, she seriosuly needs wake-up call in the not-no-nice mommy way. I’m serious too. My DD got the financial wake-up call the first time she had a stupid meltdown about some kid having something I couldn’t afford. Hello…real world here and money isn’t an endless resource. See, her actions would make me ground her to her room until she acted right. Sorry to be harsh, but she’s acting like a brat. My child is prone to the same crap and she sits in that room until I feel like looking at her again. Real world, real money…she needs to understand quickly that you don’t always get what you want in life and life is about compromise. Let her pick a favorite meal or give each kid a special day at WDW where they can dictate the plans for the day. If that’s not good enough to settle her down, tell her to stay home.

sorry, I am one of those don’t ask me if you don’t want the truth people.

#4

You’ve explaned all the reasons as to why you’re going to wdw in September. Now let her be. Let her have her meltdowns. She’ll soon find out that it’s a waste of time. No bodies listening. I bet by this weekend, she’ll be over it. Isn’t parenthood wonderful?:heart:

#5

I agree with the sentiment Dana, and I too, put the breaks on REALLY quickly when the temper tantrum behaviour starts. Throwing a fit was a sure fired way to tick me off big time and the “until I feel like looking at you again” sounds just like me.

Stand firm, when she wraps her head around the fact that the temper won’t work and it’s not all about her, she will move on and I’m sure you’ll all have a wonderful trip. She needs to understand going to Disney was planned as a family vacation, not a birthday party for one.

The idea of each being the “captain” for a day sounds like a great compromise, but I’d hold that one until she calms down. Not as a reward for bad behaviour.

I’ve fallen into the same traps trying to involve the boys in the planning. It often ended badly with them asking for the world and stomping off when we said that just wasn’t possible. They get over it though and even though they are 17 now, they still love to go to WDW with Mom & Dad.

Kids! Aren’t they wonderful!

#6

Im such a mean mom…
I would tell her that she does not need to go at all and since she is being so selfish over a family trip and the others birthday that perhaps she might need to experiance a year off of a big birthday herself. I have always been honest with the kids about how big and special and expensive our vacations are even if its just a camping vacation. They would not dare pull a fit like that because they know I WOULD leave them home to sulk. They also know that it will all be fair in the end because that is who I am as a mom.

#7

I agree with everyone else, she needs to get over it. If she didn’t then I would find a place for her to stay during our trip. I wouldn’t gove her much attention when she’s throwing her fit, I would just tell her she has a decision to make–go and have a good time or stay home so she doesn’t ruin the trip for the rest of the family. It sounds like she needs a reality check, like woohoo said, maybe a $500 party is giving her unrealistic expectations and she needs a year off.

#8

I agree with the rest. But, I do reserve some of my agreement for the fact that I don’t know how old she is. Anyway, my solution would be to cancel both parties this year. You’re giving them the opportunity to celebrate BOTH birthdays in WDW, be it days afterward or a couple of months. You’re still celebrating. That’s fair. Make your plans for the trip as you planned to, and if she says she doesn’t want to go, tell her that is her decision, not your idea. Tell her it’s OK with you - you’ve given her the opportunity to come with you, he opportunity will still be there in Sept and she can make the choice. If she decides to go, you will take her. Make all your plans for the fact that she will come (I’m 100% sure she will decide to).

#9

a mom after my own heart :wink:

#10

I cannot agree more. We always want our children to have everything, but it’s important for them to realize, like Dana said, that they cannot always get what they want and should be very grateful for what they do have.

#11

I agree with that, I think I would cancel both too. It’s our job to get our children ready for the real world and sometimes we have to do things that aren’t easy or popular. I would give them both a simple party at home with cake and ice cream and a few gifts but that’s it. In fact, that’s about all we ever do. We have our parents over and we invite our “best friend family” over on a Saturday and have a big cookout and call it a party.

#12

Now, I don’t think that’s fair at all. In the end the little munshkin wins. Reality is this is what was planned. Madison probably has special things happen at other times too and her sister does not. Having the party and maybe giving her a little something she saw at Disney, wrapped up with a bow and a card thanking her for being a big sister, and being there to help celebrate should put that thing to rest real quick.
JMO

#13

Trust me Im the same way. I just told her flat out this is how it is and for what reason if you dont likt it too bad for you and stay home and go to school. I think I left her with something to think about

#14

Thats what I told my DH. We usually go 1/2 on a party so I told him this year she wasnt getting anything!!